Riding on the wings of the Eagle...

So much has happened since my last post… “The longest three weeks of my life”.

My boys used to call me a “worrier” because I used to be over protective of them.  For this very reason, when my eldest son told me of his desire to sign on with the army, I found it very difficult to accept his decision.  I feared for his life, I feared for his soul, I feared for his journey with God… and it was with all these fears that I fell at the feet of Jesus.

At the feet of Jesus, I remembered a promise that HE had given me in Isaiah 59:21 “"As for me, this is my covenant with them," says the LORD.  "My Spirit, who is on you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will not depart from your mouth or from the mouths of your children, or from the mouths of their descendants from this time on and forever," says the LORD.

At that point, I held on to the promise of God… HIS promises stand firm even when I don’t like my circumstances or when I can’t understand my circumstances.  When I started to believe HIS promise, a peace and joy that I could not explain filled my heart.  From that point onwards, we started to witness signs and wonders that confirmed the promise of God.

1. The Captain who was in-charge of my son’s unit started to inspire my son both as a soldier and as a man of God.
2. The recruits sharing my son’s bunk started to borrow and read his Bible.
3. My son personally began to experience the hand of God upon his life.  Once he told me “I have a reputation among my army buddies for having unending energy and strength.  And it reminds me of Psalm 121 which says “I lift up my eyes to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth”.
4. On the 14^th of December, we were attending a very anointed wedding of our nephew, and just when the couple was entering into the covenant of marriage, I received a call from my son, who was about to sign his contract with the Army.  I could not think of a better moment for him to sign on, and I cried... not because I was sad about my son’s decision, but because I saw God using the most appropriate moment... a moment when the anointing of God was in that place and HIS presence was so tangible.  I cried because God can be so intimate, so involved and so much part or our lives, even to the tiniest detail. 

Just few days ago, my son completed his Basic Military Training and passed out as a Trained Soldier.  When he did, he was named the Company Best Recruit.  His photograph appeared on the Ministry of Defense website, with the words “Eagle” appearing just above his name.  Is it a coincidence or another sign from God that HIS hand is upon the young soldier?

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

The longest three weeks of my life...

The longest 3 weeks in my life ends today, and my son will be home for the first time after he enlisted for National Service. 

During our almost daily telephone calls I felt that he was changing, from the carefree young man I called my son to a soldier who has begun to train and live for a purpose bigger than him.  Yes, I am proud of him and I am also accepting that his world is growing bigger from being my son to being a soldier, and soon, a boy friend, a husband, a father… and simultaneously his world as my son will grow smaller, and less important. 

This morning as I was in prayer, I realized, may be God too would have dreaded at the thought of sending me into this world for my “national service”.  He would have watched my world over here growing bigger than HIM, and HE becoming a less important part of my life.  He saved me from myself by sending storms and angels to make me come to my senses and realize who I am and why I am here.

While in prayer this morning, I realized that God is waiting for me to come home just like I am waiting for my son to come home.  HE is counting the days, the hours and waiting for me to come home, to give me the biggest hug and tell me how much he missed me, and hold me close to HIS heart never to be separated again.

As for my son, I have no fear any more… because I know he will always be a soldier for Christ and a man of God.  I know this because God has put HIS seal on my son, and HE goes after those HE has called HIS own.  I take comfort in the love of God that comes looking for us; in the storms and angels HE sends our way, when our world over here begins to grow bigger than HIM.

Going back to the place of failure...

It was a tough business day for Simon… he had returned from the sea empty handed.  It was the nature of his business… there were good days, and bad days.  He was ready to move on and get ready for the next day.  When he had finished washing his nets, the carpenter sitting in his boat and preaching to the crowds, tells Peter to go out into the deep and cast his nets again. 

Go out into the deep?  The very place he came back a little while ago empty handed?  The place of failure?  The carpenter says “Yes” that’s the place…  Simon must have muttered to himself "sure, you are the carpenter and you know all about fishing, lets go..."

1 Corinthians 3:21 says “God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe”.  As always, Simon would not have understood many things that Jesus preached that day, but he must have seen something what the educated and the respected did not see in the young carpenter.  Instead of moving on, he moved back to the very place of failure... this time with the Son of God in his boat, and he found a miracle in the place of failure.

Time and time again, the Lord is sending me to the very places that I experienced failure, insecurity, pain, rejection… The world tells me “move on”, but Jesus says “go back into the deep and cast out your net”.  Go back into the deep – the very place I just returned empty handed, frustrated, angry, disappointed... and HE is asking me to throw the net of forgiveness, kindness, love, patience, to the very people who I prefer to stay away from.  This time I know I am not going there alone or coming back empty handed, because Jesus is in my boat, and I am ready to be saved through another foolish act that God is calling me to do.

When I sit on my God's shoulders...

I was caught-up with work and deadlines for a few months at a stretch which caused my prayer life to suffer.  Yeah, that sounds better than saying that I was unfaithful to my God, or that it was too inconvenient for me to wake up a little early to sit before the creator of the universe.  

He is a God who comes after the one who goes missing... so He came after me, and carried me back on His shoulders.  He did not stop there, but went on to make a few adjustments in my life, and I have been getting some extra time in the mornings to sit before the Lord! 

Over the years I have learnt, when I come to that place where GOD is where He should be in my life, His presence becomes very real, and HIS voice becomes very clear.  When I sit before Him in prayer, He takes me to places in the scriptures that speak about the very things that I have been talking to Him about.  

This is what He did this morning…

Of late, the hunger for Him in my life has been so great, and I have been asking the Lord to scoop out everything that is of me, making me a empty vessel which He can live inside.  The Song “I need you more” has been my own prayer these few days...

I need you more, more than yesterday 

I need you more, more than words can say 

I need you more, than ever before 

I need you, Lord, I need you more

More than the air I breathe, more than the song I sing

More than my next heartbeat, more than anything

Lord as time goes by, I will be by your side

Cause I never want to go back to my old life

During my prayer this morning, I was led to read Psalm 42 and as I started to read, I found the first two verses are simply echoing my own prayer few seconds ago...  

 ¹ As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.

 ² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?

I love it when He does that… it is like He is telling me “I hear you”.

Last morning, when I was praying for some people who desperately need divine intervention in their lives, I was led to read 2 Kings Chapter 6.  It was the incident where Elisha and his servant were surrounded by an army that was about to attack them.  When Elisha's servant gets frightened, Elisha asks the Lord to open his servant’s eyes so that he will see that "those who are with us are more than those who are with them", and immediately the servant started to see armies with chariots of fire around them ready to protect them.  

I felt that the Lord was leading me to pray the prayer of Elisha… "O Lord, open his eyes that he may see".  Just like Elisha’s servant's eyes were open to see what human eyes are not capable of, the Lord is going to open the eyes of the people who are unable to see beyond their own circumstances and they will see the presence of God around them.  

When I am right with God, I start a prayer and He finishes it.  I think I am going to sit here for a while... on my God's shoulders.  

Praise the Lord!

Fool for God

When Jesus was presented to Herod, the scriptures say Herod was "greatly pleased, because for a long time he had been wanting to see Him".  

Herod was pleased to see Jesus for the wrong reasons, he wanted to satisfy his curiosity, nevertheless, he was pleased.  Finally, an influential man who can make a difference in the case against Jesus.  All that Jesus had to do was perform a miracle, preach a sermon and Herod could have made it all go away.

The scriptures say, "but Jesus gave him no answer".  

Why didn't He do something?  One miracle, one sermon, was all it would take to change the whole thing, and probably even convert Herod in the process.  But Jesus was silent even though it cost him much... His ministry, His dignity, His good name and His life.  

The silence of Jesus did NOT please Herod.  What took place after that, caused a chain of events that started to change the lives of billions of people.  

"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong" (1 Corinthians 1: 27).

Jesus was silent because He was aware of a greater truth;

Jesus knew God uses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.  The world says only fools trust God when you can trust the influence of the powerful. So He chose to do the foolish thing, He chose to trust God.

Jesus knew, God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  The world says, it is the weak who try to please God who is a "killjoy" when you can enjoy all that the world has to offer.  So He chose to do the weak thing, He chose to please God.  


Jesus knew obedience to God and inner responses to the Father releases a power that goes beyond time and life itself.  So He became a fool for God.


How I wish, what I know in my mind becomes a truth in my heart, and when I make choices in life, I will have the supernatural power of God to give inner responses even though it could cost me much.  I know I am not capable of it, and the chances are, I will take the easy way out.  But deep down inside my heart, there is a tiny seed that God has planted, which desires to please Him and Him alone.  So I wait for the day that the Lord sets me free from myself completely to be a fool for Him.

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me".  (Psalm 51:10)

Jesus or Miracles?

Recently I saw a video clip from a movie of St. Peter where St. Peter and the disciples went back to fishing after Jesus was crucified. When they returned empty handed, a man on the shore shouted out to them to cast the net on to the other side... they did as they were told, and drew in a net full of fish.

When St. Peter recognised the man on the shore was Jesus, he jumped into the water, and swam towards the Lord... leaving the fish, the boat and his friends behind.  This was the was not the first time that St. Peter left a boat full of fish to follow the Lord.

Leaving behind the net full of fish meant letting go of some extra cash... the "break" he was waiting for... proof that he is not a "loser" after all... a reason to celebrate... In short, he let go of the miracle to hold on to the Lord.  No wonder he was chosen to take the place of Jesus in the church!

The incident spoke to my own heart. Often I get distracted by the blessings and the miracles, and I come very close to holding on to them instead of the Lord. Often I think of taking a break from Him to enjoy His blessings in my life...

When I go before Him in prayer, He begins His usual "open heart surgery" and I begin to see how easy it is to hold on to the miracles and blessings instead of Him, how easy it is to serve Him without having that intimate relationship with Him, and how easy it is to walk away from Him... and having been there before, I know what it could cost me.

As I continue to sit at His feet, He makes me realise, that no one or nothing is worth leaving Him for. And He gives me the wisdom to let go the blessings, that I may hold on to Him.  He makes me realise, the greatest blessing and miracle in my life is Jesus Himself.  

What would I do without Jesus in my life?  I don't want to know...

El Roi, The God who sees me

I was browsing through books at Borders, when my eyes caught the title of a book.  It read, "The Woman who Named God".  I wish I bought that book that day, but the title of the book kept coming back to me over and over again.
 
The woman who named God, or the first person to give God a name for that matter, was Hagar.  She was a woman in a crisis who ran away to the desert.  In the desert, God came looking for her, and spoke to the broken, betrayed, pregnant woman who no one really cared about.  The encounter with the Creator of the universe, changed Hagar's life, and in a way, the entire human history.  For the first time in her life, she experienced love, that she is a valuable person, realised that her future is safe, that she and her unborn child will be taken care of.  She gave a name to the God who saw her when no one else did, cared for her when no one else could not be bothered, and carried her out of the bottomless pit she was falling into... she called Him El Roi, which means "You are the God who sees me".  Her words are captured in Genesis 16:13 "You are the God who sees me".  "I have seen the One who sees me".

Psalm 139 says;
O Lord, you have search me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
You perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
You are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord

Before a word comes to my tongue he knows it COMPLETELY?
He knows my thoughts?
He is familiar with ALL my ways?
AND He still loves ME?

The Lord is speaking to my heart, "Yes, I know everything about you. I know you can’t be faithful. I know you can’t follow me with your strength. I know sometimes you don’t even like to be with me, but be somewhere else… I get you… that is why I come after you. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I AM. I will never, never let you go.

El-Roi comes looking for me every time I fall, every time I fail, every time I can’t be faithful, every time I run away… He comes after me.  And then I feel His love and His presence and I realize what a fool I had been trying to find joy, love, acceptance, recognition when I can find much, much more when I am lost in the heart of God.