The longest three weeks of my life...

The longest 3 weeks in my life ends today, and my son will be home for the first time after he enlisted for National Service. 

During our almost daily telephone calls I felt that he was changing, from the carefree young man I called my son to a soldier who has begun to train and live for a purpose bigger than him.  Yes, I am proud of him and I am also accepting that his world is growing bigger from being my son to being a soldier, and soon, a boy friend, a husband, a father… and simultaneously his world as my son will grow smaller, and less important. 

This morning as I was in prayer, I realized, may be God too would have dreaded at the thought of sending me into this world for my “national service”.  He would have watched my world over here growing bigger than HIM, and HE becoming a less important part of my life.  He saved me from myself by sending storms and angels to make me come to my senses and realize who I am and why I am here.

While in prayer this morning, I realized that God is waiting for me to come home just like I am waiting for my son to come home.  HE is counting the days, the hours and waiting for me to come home, to give me the biggest hug and tell me how much he missed me, and hold me close to HIS heart never to be separated again.

As for my son, I have no fear any more… because I know he will always be a soldier for Christ and a man of God.  I know this because God has put HIS seal on my son, and HE goes after those HE has called HIS own.  I take comfort in the love of God that comes looking for us; in the storms and angels HE sends our way, when our world over here begins to grow bigger than HIM.

Going back to the place of failure...

It was a tough business day for Simon… he had returned from the sea empty handed.  It was the nature of his business… there were good days, and bad days.  He was ready to move on and get ready for the next day.  When he had finished washing his nets, the carpenter sitting in his boat and preaching to the crowds, tells Peter to go out into the deep and cast his nets again. 

Go out into the deep?  The very place he came back a little while ago empty handed?  The place of failure?  The carpenter says “Yes” that’s the place…  Simon must have muttered to himself "sure, you are the carpenter and you know all about fishing, lets go..."

1 Corinthians 3:21 says “God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe”.  As always, Simon would not have understood many things that Jesus preached that day, but he must have seen something what the educated and the respected did not see in the young carpenter.  Instead of moving on, he moved back to the very place of failure... this time with the Son of God in his boat, and he found a miracle in the place of failure.

Time and time again, the Lord is sending me to the very places that I experienced failure, insecurity, pain, rejection… The world tells me “move on”, but Jesus says “go back into the deep and cast out your net”.  Go back into the deep – the very place I just returned empty handed, frustrated, angry, disappointed... and HE is asking me to throw the net of forgiveness, kindness, love, patience, to the very people who I prefer to stay away from.  This time I know I am not going there alone or coming back empty handed, because Jesus is in my boat, and I am ready to be saved through another foolish act that God is calling me to do.